Did anonymous thugs and / or ruffians break into your palatial estate and steal a painting of either infinite or sentimental value? Have you asked your butler, stableboy, personal chef, concubine, and landscape architect, only to find that none of them stole that priceless or heart-warming piece of art? Have you tried retracing your steps? Poked your head outside the front door to see if it’s laying in the gravel of your carriageway?

Wow. Still haven’t found it, huh? Well, you know what they say: it’s always in the last place you look.

Well, let the Hayes Detective Agency be the last place you look!

Our skilled and experienced sleuths will get on your case immediately, moving through the seedy, unclean, and economically disadvantaged parts of town so you won’t have to! We’ll find the clues, interpret those clues, come to the right conclusions, and then follow those conclusions to new clues, so on and so forth, until your case is solved! We specialize in finding and retrieving personal property, pets, missing persons, and personal property.

Come visit our comfortable and tastefully decorated office, where you can enjoy a complimentary glass of room-temperature water while you wait to speak with us. Our receptionist will happily make you an appointment at a time of your—not our— convenience. We speak Common, Draconic, Dwarven, Elven, and conversational Goblin.

Come in today for a free consultation. The Hayes Detective Agency: the last place you’ll ever need to look.

The Hayes Detective Agency

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